im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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