So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
