Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
