I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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