How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Semen is not good for contacts.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I supernannyed him into submission
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
