he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Randomize
