spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
