areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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