theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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