theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
we're making bets on your personal life
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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