you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
