I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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