Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
