I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
they call him Oral-B. enough said
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
