My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I can't turn off my feet"
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
