i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
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