Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
