Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Pooping to opera.
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