oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Randomize
