I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
