nut hugger
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
