I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
