I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
