It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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