we have pet lesbian snakes
Yo dont text me then not text me
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
