you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
