were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
