Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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