Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
