Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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