Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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