You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
