The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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