i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
