Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
