Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
