my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
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