apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
