Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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