Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Randomize