How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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