Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize