were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Randomize
