Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
this just has baby written all over it
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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