i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
