She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
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