So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
