Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Randomize
