i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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