i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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