But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
