It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
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