What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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