She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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