if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I want to fling myself into the sun
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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