i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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