The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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