it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
