You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
